Monday, 2 April 2012

A man's perspective (Paul of course)

Stand by your blog accounts I'm on duty (Paul).

Debbie has gone down South somewhere to organise the World Alpaca Golden fleece show - nothing like letting your hair down on a busman's holiday?!   She left grumbling that the workmen had let 3 spot out (one of her kittens).  1 spot and Smudge (more cats) are asleep.

I'm working from home and taking care of the farm which Debbie claims is such hard work - let's see shall we.

My first job was sort the builder out.  Right do this or don't get paid, your choice matey.  Sorted. Next!

Emails, telephone meetings, quick paper to write. Sorted. Next!

Check the sheep at lunchtime - 40 minutes I think Debbie says it takes her - what does she play at - the quad does 70 km/h no problem - coming through - all sheep there, I think.  Next!

Lunch. Some suggestion that I have no culinary skills - you must be kidding - 3 slices of Aga toast and 1,2,3,4 scrambled eggs - and Debbie was wondering what to do with all the eggs - easy! Next!

Emails, telephone meetings....Next!

2 deliveries - sorted, next!

Farm insurance renewed - next!

cup of tea - and a choccie biscuit - ok all the choccie biscuits - yum, sorry Dear - next!

Water for animals - ah ha.  Allegedly Debbie spends hours each day lugging large quantities of water up and down the hill - I think she is in training for Brittain's strongest woman - me on the other hand - no chance brain power 10/10.  The proof?

Debbie has spent the last x months carrying gallons of water up a very steep hill - her tools of the trade?...
Chickens supplied for scale purposes only.

Now I may be a weed - ok a big weed - but ain't no way I'm lugging that lot up the hill 3 times a day.

Hello, Robson and Cowan country superstore? It's Mr Rippon here - yes the brainy weedy one - yes the one with the strong wife - you can deliver - see you in an hour.

Am I going to have arms like popeye carrying all that water up the hill?  No way ho-say....
2 trips up the hill (although it did take an hour to fill up each load) and every field has a water trough that is overflowing.  The girls can go paddling again!  Better hide my new toy and put the buckets back out for when Debbie comes back. Next!

Feeding rounds: chickens, alpaca boys/studs, alpaca weanlings, alpaca girls. Next!

Tea time.  Now then, need to demonstrate that I can cook and need to use up some of the rows of eggs - will have loads more tomorrow because I forgot to collect todays from the chicken houses...

I've got it! Des oeufs broilles sur toast. Well, I'm in a rush - wait a minute I have an idea to make it different from lunch: Cinq oeufs! (five eggs).  Yum!

More emails...a man's work is never done.

Sheep rounds - more water supplied - easy with my new toy!   Sheep seem to like having a bath too!

Chase the ewe lambs back from half a mile away - repair the wall.  Put some pig netting up to try and stop them (failing that, I have some small explosives...).

Sheep rounds again.  Blimey Ruby has given birth.  Two lambs one big, one small.  Ruby is from Mia - who is keeping watch.  Unfortunately Ruby seems more interested in her mum than her lambs. Right - nobody panic (at least the lambs were out and there was no sticking my hand in - phew!).
Return to base camp and pick up the trailer and a few ewe nuts.  Return to mum and lambs - Mia still on guard. Drop tailgate - Mia jumps in of course - could be some food involved.  Kick Mia out and put lambs in - Mia's lambs jump in and Mia goes back in - Ruby walks off. Nice one.

Fast forward.  Male cunning deployed.  Back to shed with 2 lambs and Ruby - stuffing her neck with ewe nuts.

Shut chickens in. Next!

Pesky big lamb wont feed.  Attempt series of subtle and not so subtle actions none working.  Swear and curse at lamb.  Success - drinks a gallon and then gets head butted by Ruby for its troubles.  What sex are the 2 lambs - might tell you tomorrow.

Farming and working from home. Doddle - no idea what Debbie does all day.  Blimey - is that the time!  Better go and check the maternity unit in the shed.

Round 2 tomorrow...


Judi B said...

Yes Paul but...did you put a load of washing in, change the sheets, nip to the supermarket, do the pile of ironing in the basket, make a big shepherds pie for the freezer and get those birthday cards posted, then do some knitting whilst you enjoyed your coffee and choccie biscuits??! It's called multi-tasking and tht what Debbie does all day whereas you men just skip from task to task!

Bev said...

You are asking for so much trouble.. I'd put a ribbon on that new toy if I were you, and present it to Debbie as a very special gift for all her hard work..

Debbie, Barnacre Alpacas said...

Hi Judi, after being given instructions on how to switch on the (pre loaded) washing machine I did empty in on the clothes horse in front of the Aga - Debbie will be back on Thursday or Friday so no point emptying until then?!

Who's birthday is it and what should I change the sheets into??!!


Debbie, Barnacre Alpacas said...

Bev - I don't know what you mean, I just did a 'factual' account of the day??!!


Shirley said...

Brilliant Paul - a man after my own heart! Robbie

Ps: Hope you are no longer egg bound!

Apple Vale Alpacas said...

Now that's what I call a water carrier! and it will pay for itself, once you start selling water to the south-east!

Anonymous said...

Thumbs up from me Paul, you're doing great, just get a few rows of knitting done today and you're flying.


Anonymous said...

PS. And you managed to blog earlier than usual........