Sunday 12 April 2009

A sad day

Do you ever get the feeling the whole world is against you, well today was one of those days here.

We were up early as usual and on approaching the field all appeared well, and then I spotted something in the paddock. Immediate panic set in and quite rightly so, Willow had given birth. Sadly the cria was dead, it looked as though she had given birth in the early hours of the morning, both the cria and the placenta were cold.

A little brown girl (just as I'd predicted), poor Willow loves to be a mum and had to watch everyone else with babies last year, as she's missed out on getting pregnant because of the movement restrictions and fate has dealt her the same misfortune this year.

As you can imagine I've spent most of the day in tears. I have been blaming myself, full of what ifs and wondering what we'd done wrong. As if we've not had enough bad luck of late, and poor Willow, she went through all that discomfort for nothing. Thankfully Chiquita has been by her side all day.

After going through the loss of her baby I then milked her, I thought I would take her colostrum and freeze it so we have some just in case of emergency later in the year. I already have the powdered stuff in but the real thing will be much more efficient.

I have hit a real low, I'm not sure how many more kicks in the teeth I can take. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully a brighter one.


Knapper Alpakka said...

Very sorry to hear this. Every one is valuable.
We lost a cria last year. Beautiful black thing. My wife cried for a week.

Patou Alpacas said...

Debbie, So sorry to hear about Willow's cria. We understand how you feel having had two stillborns last year. Sometimes there simply is nothing you could have done. Try to focus on all the positive things about owning and loving alpacas, they vastly outweigh the bad times.
Keep your chins up.

Lucy said...

Oh Debbie, I am so sad for you. We had a similar one last year with our beautiful little Coire Rob Roy who had the brightest little white fleece you could imagine. You always remember these little ones who pass on by. It can be heartbreaking. I just try to remember that they were not for this world, and that they didn't suffer too much. You can blame yourself but you can't do everything. I know that blame game only too well - we did the same with Rob Roy and with Finlay, our son. At the end of the day you just have to try and look forward to the next birth and believe that you will not have bad luck every time. xx

Rob @ Wellground said...

Hi Debbie and Paul,

We have just read your blog. We are so sorry. Not much can be said to make you feel better at the moment, but we feel sure that your alpacas will do that for you very soon.

Just don't let it get you down too much.

Take care.

Rob and Les.

hilaryc said...

I am sorry that Willow lost her baby, an hope you are feeling more positive soon.

Take CAre

Zanzibah Alpacas said...

I've just read your blog, Im so sorry for you both !... I had an auwful experience last year, you can't blame yourself, sometimes things are out of our hands, we are just human and mother nature casts the real dice. You need time to over-come your sadness, we wait so long for these babies and there all precious. It is very hard to come to terms with, sometimes we never know why...but we have to try and accept it ....don't be too hard on your-self......Palm-Olive is a real gem Im sure she will help with your healing in time ....take care Jayne xx

Mariposa Farm Alpacas said...


So sorry to hear about your cria. I understand how you feel as one of my girls had a stillborn last year. It can be difficult when we don't know why things happen.

Hang in there.


Alpaca Lady said...

I just read about Willow's cria. My heart goes out to you and Willow. A loss of life is hard for any animal to deal with. Perhaps spring will help the healing.